I was hanging around at my boyfriend’s place (in hindsight he was probably Satan) and we were just chilling, doing normal things, when a long, sleek, black car pulled up outside of his house. My boyfriend, suddenly very nervous and twitchy, told me to go and hide in the closet. When I asked him what was up, he just told me it was a “work associate” so I went and did as he said. I peeked a little bit out of the closet to see who this person was. I wanted to see who could possibly get my boyfriend, the actual Devil, to tremble in fear. And lo and behold, it was Ted Cruz.
Reflections on this post:
1. I need to read URLs.
2. “in hindsight he was probably Satan” may be the single greatest hook to a story that I’ve ever seen.
3. The levels of stress and suspense that occur in the rising action here rival that of some of the greatest survival horror works that exist on this earth.
4. “And lo and behold, it was Ted Cruz” is probably the only sentence that could make the conclusion to this story more terrifying, and ended the story in a way far superior to anything my own sense of dread could have come up with.
when i was depressed those “reasons not to kill yourself” lists never helped.. maybe they do for some people but for me they actually made me feel worse. it was like….here’s a reminder that there are all these things other people find joy in that you can’t. with a sprinkle of guilt because “your family/friends will miss you.”
what i needed to hear, and so what i’ll tell any of you reading this who are in the same situation, was: a lot of people recover from mental illness and go on to live full lives. it’s quite likely that with treatment, a time will come when you won’t want to die anymore and you’ll find joy in everyday life. yes, you. stay alive for that possibility.
